this is life

I don't remember what I was going to say again... but I had a good idea of it 20 minutes ago.



March 13, 2007 I gave my life to Jesus Christ. I felt sort of like a lame kid at summer camp, when the words were spilling out of my mouth. How many times have I done this before? I thought my life was already God's, but that thought was easily brushed away. This time was different, this time was more. I wasn't stating that I believed in God like before, or that I'd like to follow Him. I wasn't saying that I'd give my best attempts, or that I really hope to stay on this path. I'm not having a camp high, or a DTS high. I gave away my heart tonight, I gave away myself. My life is the Lord's, and I don't mean that in your typical mediocre way. I am no longer my own, not in the least bit. I have a reason to live, and that reason is Him, and only Him.

Slavery? No, it's freedom. It's the freedom that I've always wanted. Freedom to be who I was created to be. Freedom to love, to enjoy life, freedom to have purpose, and freedom to change the lives of others for good. If you're not a slave to God, you're just a slave to everything that God is not.

I know there might be stuff I'm holding onto, but my commitment was to let go of it. As it comes along I plan to give it up. Hold me accountable. I can't say that this is the life I've always wanted, but it's the life I've always meant to have, and now I want it more than anything.

I love this feeling that I get. The awe, the joy, the true amazement. I love when I can just sit in it and realize, "This is God. This is what life was meant to be." I couldn't ask for anything better.


I don't want to fear anymore, I never want to walk in disbelief. What would happen if you just did as He asks? No questions, no doubt. Wow, how you would truly know Him.

The Goal is Jesus, and that's the only Goal.